Almost 4 years. That's quite a long time when you're only 20 and a half years old. From just before my 16th birthday, I think it was (sometime in October?) to just before my 20th (again in October?), you were everything to me. You were the only reason I continued plodding along in my god-forsaken life. From the day-to-day activities all the way up to my long term goals; you were it. We'd spoken about the inevitable before; there's no way that we could continue such a long-term long-distance relationship. We decided that we would still stay friends, and that we would leave ourselves open to opportunities in the future. You told me that when the time came, it had to be me that made the decision. So I did. God, it was after a good month or two of a harrowing self-assessment. Why were these feelings that had been there for so long starting to dissipate? Was I growing out of you? Oh god, did I still love you?
I did. Hell, I still do. Just because I'm not in love with you any more doesn't mean that you are nothing to me. I still love you so much, and care for you like no other. What happened to staying friends? Why all these angry words, and then solomn ones? You tell me that I broke your heart, and I accept that. But now... you've betrayed me. All those things you promised me, all those things you said when you agreed that we should break up, and those kind words when I told you how weak I am, how I couldn't hold myself together any more let alone our relationship. I've tried everythingto keep this friendship together, but now I just don't know what to do. So I won't do anything. If these 4 years have meant so little to you, then by all means never talk to me again. But if there is still a connection there, like I think there is, then you know where to find me. I will not come for you until you make the effort.
Good-bye.
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