"Women are too busy making sure you're not staring at their imaginary fat/real fat/cellulite/stretch marks/bike accident scar/deep bellybutton/tan lines/ugly boobs/huge nipples/mole she hates/tiny boobs/meat curtains/vaginal imperfections of any kind/ huge butt/ thunder thighs to notice ANYTHING wrong about you, except maybe a parasite twin growing out of your ballsack.
For the record, every woman on the planet, given this list, will claim to have 95% of the imperfections listed on it. Every. One."
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